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Ronelle_King 10-06-2013 12:43 PM

How Does Money Affect Your Relationships?

February is the perfect time to highlight the relationships in our lives and how we relate to money within those relationships. There are the relationships that we have with our partner, our kids and our aging parents. Money is a topic that is oftentimes difficult to address, but is necessary in order to create strong interactions with our loved ones so that financial goals are being met.

The Money Talk with Your Partner
Money problems are the leading cause for divorce. In many instances, partners have different money personalities and their spending and saving habits contradict each other. Each partner needs to make an honest assessment about their relationship with money and discuss financial expectations. Then create a compromise that both of you can live with. With that being done, the following is some steps you can take so that money isnít an issue in your relationship.
  1. Establish short-term and long-term financial goals. Do you want to own a house? Is saving for your childrenís education a priority? Do you want to save to go on vacation next year? Once these goals are in place, you are in a good position to start saving for them and closer to your dreams becoming a reality.
  2. Create a budget. Every dollar that comes into your household should be accounted for. Make sure you are taking into account, not only your monthly bills, but also expenses that donít happen every month, like car repairs, school supplies or gifts. The money for these types of expenses can be set aside in another account to use when those expenses come up. Make sure you are both in agreement with where the money is being spent. Again, compromise may be needed in order to reach your financial goals.
  3. Live within your means. This may sound obvious, but sometimes it is difficult to achieve when you see others going out to dinner and on vacations and you want to also. Food and entertainment are two things that we tend to spend more money on then what we think. Within your budget, give yourself an allowance for these extras and then stick with it!
  4. Save. Make it a priority to save something every week. But be realistic in your saving goals. If you can only save $10 this week that is more then you had last week and after a year you will have $500. Think of it this way, start small but dream big and motivate yourself to find additional money to put away for a rainy day or to achieve your financial goals.
  5. Donít give up. Many people go into following a budget with an all or nothing attitude. Think of this as processes that even if you mess up, donít give up. Have regular discussions with your partner to see where you are at, the challenges or successes that you have had and what you need to do in the future to get you where you want to be in your financial life.

The Money Talk with Your Kids
We all want the best for our children. We want them to have good values and an education that will help them become successful. And, of course, part of that education includes learning how to manage money. Apprisen has offered these tips in the past to help with teaching your kids about money, but thought it was a good time for a review.

Young children love to put things into other things. Get them a piggybank and let them handle different types of coins. At first, identify each coin by name before putting it in the bank, and as they get older, you can teach them, for example, how 5 pennies equal one nickel.

Elementary School
Once children enter school they have a general understanding that things cost money and sometimes there isnít enough money for everything they want. Have discussions about setting goals and saving for them. Open a savings account and let children go to the bank and make their own deposits. When the statement comes, review it together and talk about how their money is earning interest. Another idea is to allow children to make choices with the money that they have to spend. For example, when you go to the grocery store, give children $5 that they can spend how they please. That way you are not always telling them ďnoĒ, but they can choose what they want. One of two things will happen. They will have fun knowing that they can pick out what they want, or they will realize that this is their money and they donít want to spend it.

Continue giving your children the opportunities to make decisions with how to spend their money. Clothes, school supplies, personal care are a few things that you would normally purchase for them. Giving them a budget for these items, and allowing them to make choices on what they will buy, will help prioritize their purchases. This is also a time to develop their entrepreneurial skills to allow them to earn extra income. The adventure of starting a small business is a great financial lesson for kids. They learn how to set and achieve goals, understand profit and loss and get rewarded for hard work. Make sure you, as the parent, are there to support them, but allow them the opportunity to experience the good and the bad of their financial decisions.

The Money Talk with Your Parents
This is probably the hardest money talk to have. We look to our parents as our caregivers, and as they get older and that role changes, to broach subjects, especially about money, can be very difficult. This is a discussion that needs to happen sooner rather than later. You donít want to find yourself in a middle of a crisis and not have the answers you need in order to make well informed decisions. Approach the topic in a non-threatening way explaining that you want to make sure that they are taken care of and their wishes are respected. If desired, a financial planner or attorney can be present to help facilitate the discussion. If you still are not comfortable in bringing up the topic, put your thoughts in a letter and invite them to contact you when they are ready
  1. Do they have a will. Having a last will and testament prepared is a crucial step. Not only does it ensure that assets are divided as intended, but it can also minimize conflicts among family members
  2. Know where their assets are. Even if they donít share this information with you directly, make sure to stress the importance of having this information written down and stored in a safe place. Be sure that banking, credit cards, life insurance benefits, real estate holdings and financial assets are included with names, account numbers and contact information for each.
  3. Take care of the big three. The most important information you need to gather from your conversation with your parents is whether or not they have the following documents that will allow you or someone else they trust to manage their health and financial needs if they become ill or incapacitated.< >A living will tells a doctor or hospital whether or not your parents want life support.A health care proxy is a document that gives you or another individual the power to make health care decisions on your parents' behalf.A durable power of attorney for finances gives you or someone else the power to make financial decisions on your parents' behalf.What kind of insurance do they have. You'll want to make sure that your elderly family member has medical coverage. A policy from a private insurance provider or through the government-sponsored Medicare program should cover a large portion of the medical expenses and prescription drug costs incurred by people over the age of 65. Youíll also want to ask about any long term coverage that they may have.

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Narkissos 10-14-2013 02:30 PM

Hoped that this would be more in-depth.

But, it's a good starting point all the same.


Ronelle_King 10-22-2013 12:23 AM


Originally Posted by Narkissos (Post 147217)
Hoped that this would be more in-depth.

But, it's a good starting point all the same.


I was searching for one more detailed but I couldn't find one I was satisfied with.

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