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General Health, Wellness, & Spirituality Questions Hey.. are you new to the health & fitness lifestyle? Then this sub-forum is for you. Inside is a slew of pertinent tips and explanations to speed you on your way. Enjoy! The forum has been dedicated to the memory of a now deceased friend of the NarkSide: David "Mavsluva" Lowe. He was an inspiration for many of us here in the community. This forum serves to continue the work which David started: To unite the Spirit, Mind, and Body... in the pursuit of the improvement of self. R.I.P. David. We love you man. You'll always be with us.

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  #11  
Old 03-07-2007
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

that was cute
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  #12  
Old 03-07-2007
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

^^LMAO.

Some of those are.. LMAO!
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  #13  
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

Here're some more: ;D

The liquid inside young coconuts can be used as a substitute for Blood plasma.

No piece of paper can be folded in half more than seven (7) times.

Donkeys kill more people annually than plane crashes.

You burn more calories sleeping than you do watching television.

Oak trees do not produce acorns until they are fifty (50) years of age or older.

The first product to have a bar code was Wrigley's gum.

The King of Hearts is the only king WITHOUT A MOUSTACHE!

American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 by eliminating one (1) olive from each salad served in first-class.

Venus is the only planet that rotates clockwise.

(Since Venus is normally associated with women, what does this tell you! ;D)


Apples, not caffeine, are more efficient at waking you up in the morning.

Most dust particles in your house are made from DEAD SKIN!

The first owner of the Marlboro Company died of lung cancer.

So did the first "Marlboro Man. "

Walt Disney was afraid OF MICE!

PEARLS MELT IN VINEGAR!

The three most valuable brand names on earth: Marlboro, Coca Cola, and Budweiser, in that order.

It is possible to lead a cow upstairs... but, not downstairs. (lmao! ;D)

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush be kept at least six (6) feet away from
a toilet to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

(I'll keep my toothbrush in the living room now!)


And the best for last.....

Turtles can breathe through their butts. (I know some people like that, don't YOU?)
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  #14  
Old 03-07-2007
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

Be careful what you agree to:

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference

between potentially and realistically?' The father thought for a moment, then

answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.

Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then,

ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me

what you learn from that.' So the boy went to his mother and asked, 'Would you sleep

with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' The mother replied, 'Of course I would! We could

really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great

University!' The boy then went to his sister and asked, 'Would you sleep with Brad

Pitt for a million dollars?' The girl replied, 'Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt I would sleep

with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?' The boy then went to his brother and asked, '

Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?' 'Of course,' the brother replied.


'Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?' The boy pondered the answers

for a few days and then went back to his dad. His father asked him, 'Did you find

out the difference between potentially and realistically?' The boy replied,

Yes. Potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars, but realistically,

we're living with two hookers and a homosexual.

;D
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  #15  
Old 03-07-2007
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of

years. He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him

fitted for a set of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear

100%.



The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor

said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased

that you can hear again."



The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit

around and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three

times!"


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  #16  
Old 03-07-2007
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement center were sitting on a bench

under a tree when one turns to the other and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years

old now and I'm just full of aches and pains. I know you're about my

age. How do you feel?"



Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby."



"Really!? Like a newborn baby!?"



"Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."

;D
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  #17  
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

An elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after

eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two

gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new

restaurant and it was really great! I would recommend it very highly."



The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"



The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name

of that flower you give to someone you love? You know...the one that's

red and has thorns."



"Do you mean a rose?"


"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.


He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose, what's the name

of that restaurant we went to last night?



;D
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  #18  
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

Hospital regulations require a wheel chair for patients being

discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, I found one

elderly gentleman already dressed and sitting on the bed with a

suitcase at his feet, who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the

hospital.



After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him

to the elevator.



On the way down I asked him if his wife was meeting him.



"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing

out of her hospital gown."




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  #19  
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

A couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things.

During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay,

but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.



Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up fro m his

chair. "Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.



"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?"



"Sure."



"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she

asks.



"No, I can remember it."



"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write

it down, so's not to forget it?"



He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with

strawberries."



"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it

down?" she asks.



Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember

it! Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for

goodness sake!"



Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man

returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs.



She stares at the plate for a moment. "Where's my toast?"





LMAO!
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Default Re: The Official: "Click here if you want a laugh" thread

^^That one was specially dedicated to Spywizard
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