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View Poll Results: Is there such a thing as being too open?
No. Your ultimate responsibility is to your significant other. 1 12.50%
Yes. Even in open-ness you must respect other people's right to privacy. 4 50.00%
Vodka 3 37.50%
Voters: 8. You may not vote on this poll

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  #1  
Old 09-13-2008
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Default A matter of trust..

..Where does trust cross lines?

I'm having a discussion at the moment about relationships.

In them, this conversant proposes that the two individuals involved should tell each other everything.

My questions would be... how possible is this?

And... is there such a thing as a too open relationship?

By this i mean:

OK.. you have your significant other... you also have friends.

Your friends have very personal things going on in their lives which they confide to you.

It has nothing to do with your relationship, you, or your significant other...as i said, it's your friends personal crisis which they confided in you.

Is it 'right' to share it with your significant other?

Is it 'right' NOT to share it with your significant other?

Is not sharing it a breech of trust with your significant other?

Would sharing it be a breech of trust with your friend? (even if you're totally convinced that your significant other is vault)

Where does 'open-ness' cross the line?

To whom do you ultimately hold responsibility?

-C
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  #2  
Old 09-13-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

I have always feelt that we all have separate parts of our life and there is no real reason to mix it all up. I tell my friends things I wouldnt neccesarly tell my girlfriend and vice versa. But then again my relationship is going down the drain so perhaps that approach isnt realy working.

Trust to me isnt about telling eachother everything. Its more about not holding back things that are important.
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Old 09-13-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

Quote:
Originally Posted by Johan
Trust to me isnt about telling eachother everything. Its more about not holding back things that are important.
Agreed.

But who decides what is important?

Your thoughts?
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Old 09-13-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

Hmm tricky, I guess if I trust someone I not only trust that they will tell me everything they think is important, but that they also tell me everything they think I feel is important. It works well for me because I am so laid back and hardly ever get upset about things.

I have never been in a situation where I have found out my girl hasnt told me something I think she should have so Im not sure how I would react. Either Im lucky or gullible :)
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Old 09-13-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

If your friend confides in you something that is an obvious "dont tell anyone" and it does not effect your girlfriend negatively in any way, I don't find it necessary to tell her. I know there are many things that her friends tell her that she does not relay back to me. I dont think it matters as long as it isn't something that would obviously upset you..i.e. being cheated on..talking shit about you directly...etc.

Is that somewhat close to the answer you were lookin for? :)
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Old 09-14-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

Quote:
Originally Posted by chest6
Is that somewhat close to the answer you were lookin for? :)
Not looking for any particular answer... Just hoping to hear everyone's opinions
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Old 09-14-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

I believe in honesty b/c a relationship should be based on trust. That said, there are things that you might want to keep to yourself like a one night stand or a virtual relationship B/c telling your better half about those 'slippertjes' (flemish dialect word of a one night stand) could hurt him/her and isn't worth telling anyway :-X
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

^^That's weird to hear a woman say that.

Very few women have admitted this to me before.

Others say they would want to know.

bump for more input.

(BTW: in case anyone was wondering... I'm not looking for any specific answers...nor am i referring to any specific situation)

-C
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Old 09-14-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

^^^ They all lie about that if they have done it and really want to keep you. As for telling your friends and them telling their other, it is just plain wrong. I have beeen in a situation more than once where I told a friend something and they told their girl. Next thing I know people found out. I hate that shit because I have a trust with my friend but I may not even like their significant other, so why do they feel the need to say something??? "Oh, I tell my girl everything." i say go ahead just dont spread my shit or we will have a problem. It caused a big prob with me and one of my boys. I trusted this guy enought o rob a bank with him andf I hated his wife. Long and short he told her some shit that he should not have and she ran her mouth and caused some major distress for me. I hate to say it, but Im glad she wants to kill herself because she really fvcked me over. Fvckin skank, Id split her melon if nobody found out. :angry:
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Old 09-16-2008
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Default Re: A matter of trust..

some of u ppl on here seriously disturb me u kno

i can understand ur anger but y would u wish such on ur 'boy' wife?

4 me i don't volunteer information @ all under no circumstances. however if u ask me a direct (& i mean VERY direct) question i'll answer it as long as its not jeopardizing anybody else. if it's a touchy subject & it involves some1 & its a matter of their privacy & our friendship @ stake i'll simply say 'i cannot discuss that with u now' & hope that u can respect me, my friend & wat i've siad.

& i TOTALLY with wat MG said about the whole 1 night stand thingy. y tell? wats the pt? besides bringing up unwanted unnecessary feelings?
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